Wednesday, June 18, 2008

How I became a different kind of "cool mom"

In the teenage movie, “Mean Girls” there is a “cool mom” who wants to be her daughter’s best friend. This mom thinks she will get her daughter's approval (!) by dressing like her and being “oh so understanding,” and jiving with her friends when they come over.

I tried that for about five seconds and my kids let me know: uncool mom.

They want mom to be a mom.
To act like a mom.
To dress your age, whatever that means. (It means different things to different women.)
To act your age, whatever that means. (All women have their personal style.)
To be seen and not so heard.
To be welcoming and available, but not join in, or hover.

One thing I was very clear about, when my kids were growing up, was that I wanted my house to be the house their friends wanted to come and hang out in. That way, I could keep a pulse on what was going on and get to know my kids’ friends, if only in a fleeting way. Better than having your kid disappear to someone else’s house for hours on end and really not knowing what is going on or with whom.

So I’d stock the kitchen with goodies, do the “hellos” and disappear.
When the kids left, I’d say my goodbyes.

And that’s when my kids heard their friends say, “Your mom is so cool.”

1 comment:

Pamellina said...


I ADORE the way you are able to sum up into words exactly what I think and feel. It's amazing how many things you post about and share your opinion in that I totally agree with!

I have 2 young children (Adriana 7 and Aleksander 4) and I often think about the know when people are asked about their dreams and wishes in life?? Many will say, "money, travel, fame, fortune etc..."....Me?? I simply want to see my children grow up and grow old gracefully with them in my life. Simple, right??

Just wanted to let you know that your writing soothes my soul......I can envision spending an afternoon with you in your garden sipping Ice tea and soaking up your wisdom! Your children are very lucky to have such a wonderful, loving, and intelligent Mom.....I'm certain they know that!

Please keep writing......the short paragraphs are never enough!