There are two things you should understand if you don’t want your hair to drive you crazy for the rest of your life. In the grand adventure that is life, hair is not worth all the worry.
Hair grows. If perchance you get it cut into a style that doesn’t work for you, relax. Hair grows. If you get tired of short hair, grow it. If you are tired of long hair, cut it. Never think that you can’t change your hair or that a mistake is irreparable. “This too shall pass.”
Understand your hair type and accept it. This is where most people’s problems with their hair begin. It is a common belief that whatever kind of hair you have, you wish it were different.
Your hair cannot be what it is not. It is by trying to work against your hair type that you cause yourself needless anguish. Why work against your own good looks? Be the best YOU can be. Nature knows best. You have exactly the hair that you should have.
Of course, experiment. You have to. It’s part of life. Get a perm. Try highlights. Go super short. Then go long with a ponytail. Cut bangs. Grow bangs. But in the end you will see that f you have straight hair, you really look better with straight hair. And if you have curly hair, all your efforts to straighten it won’t really be in your best interest. But there are lessons you must learn yourself.
1. Forget what’s in fashion. Go to the style that is most attractive for your face and for your hair type. You never saw Jackie Kennedy in a shag or a pixie.
2. At a certain point in your life, you must give up the hairstyle of your youth. When you are young, your youth is what carries you and basically anything looks good on you. But steer clear of the Miss Havisham effect. (Remember Great Expectations by Charles Dickens?) Have you ever seen older women who insist on looking like they did when they were seventeen? Scary. Modify your hair to your age so you look your best.
3. Beautiful hair is healthy hair. Don’t mistreat it. Don’t over perm, over color, or go without cutting your hair.
4. Your hair is your permanent fashion accessory. It can make or break your look. If you are beautifully dressed but have dirty or badly cut hair, you have ruined all your effort. Keep your hair nicely clean and trimmed. Learn how to use gels to slick your hair in different directions if you don’t have time to wash or are having a bad hair day.
5. There is no such thing as a “bad hair day.” This is a subjective perception on your part and has nothing to do with reality. If you announce to people (and you shouldn’t) “I’m having a bad hair day,” they will invariably say, “Oh, I think your hair looks great.” What to do if you feel less than thrilled by your hair? Use gels. Wash it and start over. Maybe it’s not a bad hair day but rather, time for a haircut. But some great hats. Learn to use head wraps. Laugh.
6. Spend money on great haircuts. A good cut can absolutely transform your hair, your face, your entire being.
7. “Men like long hair.” Forget it. This is a myth that has tortured women for eons. What you want is to look and feel your best. You’re the one wearing your hair on your head, not the man. If you wear long hair and it looks terrible on you, you are not doing yourself a favor. You are playing the pleasing game and you will never be your own person.
8. Fashion magazines have nothing to do with reality. A magazine photograph represents a split second of time, where the model has been prepped by a phalanx of stylists, hair, makeup and editors. Her hair has just been arranged, strand-by-strand, with the hair stylist standing off camera with a brush should one strand budge.
This is not real life, nor is it your life. Enjoy the fantasy, but embrace the reality: YOU are the real, (gorgeous!) thing.
P.S. Happy Birthday to my darling daughter Nina, who is 16 today!