Saturday, April 19, 2008

Not your usual sex tips

1. You are not born a great lover. You become a great lover, by experimenting and learning – what you like, what sex means to you, what your lover likes. In addition to experimental learning, do some homework and hit the books. There are some great sex books out there. As in everything you want to learn in life: practice.

2. With each lover in your life, you begin at zero. Each lover is a different communication where you begin again. You might think you are an accomplished lover, but suddenly you will find yourself fumbling like a teenager.

3. Sex is about communication, both verbal and nonverbal. Communicate to your partner what you like and what you don’t like. Ask your partner the same. Don’t be a selfish lover. Learn how to give pleasure and how to receive pleasure. A great lover is open and sensitive.

4. Masturbating is sex. Good sex. Do it and enjoy it. It relaxes you, gets rid of tension, makes you feel better, keeps you happy. It is another aspect of your sexuality. (Such an ugly sounding word for something so nice, don't you think?)

5. Sex means different things to different people. For some it doesn’t mean all that much. Others obsess about it. For some, sex as the ultimate expression of intimacy and love, for others, it is a physical act of release, nothing more. For some it is recreational, for others it is a religious experience. All these attitudes will change of the tone of your sexual encounters with different lovers in your life. Everyone has different limits and appetites for sex.

6. Nobody is having as much sex as you think they are. Don’t compare yourself to other people’s sex lives.

7. Having sex or not should not affect your self esteem. You are still a sexy man and a sexy woman even if you are not having sex. Don't let other people make you feel bad if you are not having sex.

8. If you’re not having sex, you are still a sexual being. You are still sexy and sensual.

9. You will spend more of your life not having sex than you will having it.

10. Don’t have sex if you don’t want to. Take responsibility. Have principles. Don’t be manipulated by people. Don’t be ruled by your penis or your vagina. You are not a doggy on the street; there are moral decisions to be made. Be the adult and say no if the situation isn’t right.

11. If you have sex with people at work rest assured, it will create problems. I'm not telling you what to do, just the facts. People gossip. You can’t concentrate. Your performance suffers. If things get awkward, you’ll be looking for a new job.

12. Don’t sleep with your best friend’s boy/girlfriend or husband/wife.

13. Be discrete because discretion is sexy. Don’t talk about your sex life or betray intimate secrets of your lovers. Don’t brag about your sex life to your friends. Only insecure people need to boast about their sexual prowess. If their sex is so good, why do they have to talk about it?

14. Sex is powerful. Respect its power.

15. Having sex means you will be hurt by sex. A whole variety of hurts. I won't even bother to catalog them. Just pick yourself up, brush yourself off. Love yourself and know that you are the most lovable, sexiest person alive.

16. Use condoms.

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